Friday, February 27, 2009

Love Dare Days 7-12

Day 7-Love believes the best

1 Corinthians 13:7- "Love believes all things, hopes all things."

Today the chapter talked about different "rooms" in your heart, appreciation room and depreciation room. In the appreciation room there are all kinds of good things about your spouse. Things like they are honest, smart, great provider, handsome/beautiful and the list goes on and on. Before we were married we used to spend many hours in this room. I use to spend hours in the bathroom getting ready to see him. I would go to bed at 1am and get right back up at 7am to talk to him again. Now if anyone knows me they know that I am not a morning person anymore. I often ask myself what happened? I believe that now we are married the "chase" is over and I have let myself go.

The other room is the depreciation room, unfortunately this is visited as well. Here things are that bother or irritate you about your spouse, frustration, hurt feelings, unmet expectations, bad habits. Spending time here kills marriages. Even if you tell yourself "these things are true", remember we are all sinners. Do not let yourself stay in this room, it will not help you or your marriage. It takes a while to stop going into depreciation, it becomes a habit. As everyone knows it is very difficult to break a habit.

The dare for today was to make a list of positive things and negative things about each other. I must say it was much easier to come up with positive things about him. One of the questions we had to answer was "What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?" I was so thankful he was a hard worker and strong in his faith. At work he battles everyday with people who like to give him a hard time just for being a Christian.

Day 8-Love is not jealous

Song of Solomon 8:6 "Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire."

This one speaks for itself. I struggled with this one a lot when we first started dating. I didn't get it under control until we accepted Christ as our Savior. Oh don't get me wrong I still get those thoughts of who was that woman he was talking to?? But I pray for a clear mind about this. Besides being jealous of my Husband for any reason is just me being selfish!! There is no room for selfishness in love.

Our dare for today was for us to become our spouse's biggest fan and reject any thoughts of jealousy. Share with him how glad I am for his success he has enjoyed. We then had to destroy the list we made yesterday of the negative. This has been such a wonderful journey for us. We are more aware of how we talk to one another, act around each other. We have always been affectionate towards each other in public. So much to the fact of making family members sick...LOL! Our children are always rolling their eyes at us. I remember being embarrassed of my parents holding hands in public, but now I see that you can not stop doing this with one another. When is the last time you held your spouse's hand?

Day 9-Love makes good impressions

1 Peter 5:14 "Greet one another with a kiss of love"

This chapter talked about the way we greet each other. I had gotten into the habit of just sitting on the couch and saying "hi" when he came home. Yes I am recovering from back surgery but if I can get up through out the day to do different things I can most certainly get up and greet him with a smile. I also began thinking of how I've let my appearance go. I was always in sweats and tshirts/sweatshirts, hair in a pony tail. So I went and got my hair cut short and treated myself to getting my ears pierced. I feel so good and now I can't wait for hubby to come home from work. We tend, especially SAHM's, to let ourselves go from time to time because...we have no one to impress. I told myself..."WAKE up yes you do!" I am so excited to see him when he comes home that I can tell it has an affect on him also, greeting him with a smile and a kiss when he comes in the door. The chapter ended with this, "Remember, love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose to love."

The dare today was to think of a specific way we'd like to greet our spouse. Mine was to be there when he came home. If I'm in the kitchen then I make it a point to walk to him and greet him with love and tenderness, show him how happy I am that he is home.

Day 10- Love is unconditional

Romans 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

This chapter had us really thinking about unconditional love. We started by asking ourselves the question "Why do you love your wife/husband?" The normal answers are beauty, sense of humor, kindness and inner strength. Maybe it's the cooking, decorating, being a good Mom/Father. Now what if all of that stopped? Would you still love them? The only way love can last is if it is unconditional. So many times couples "fall out of love" with each other. You must ask yourself, did you have unconditional love? The Bible calls this agape (pronounced uh-GOP-ay) love. This love will not be swayed by time or circumstance. Ever wonder why our great-grandparents, grandparents and even our parents did it? It's because they have the unconditional love, at least most. If you do not let God grow this love inside you, you will struggle to reach this kind of love. It will take some work, there will be ups and downs but the end result will be wonderful!

The dare for today was to do something out of the ordinary for our spouse. Since I had gotten out of the habit of making his lunch I did that for him today. Instead of expecting something in return for doing something just do it because you love him/her.

Day 11-Love Cherishes

Ephesians 5:28 "Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies."

This chapter talked about a man and a woman becoming one. When one goes through something the other does as well. Over time disappointments, and the fact that you are both imperfect sets in. Starts eating away at you. You start mistreating each other, snapping at each other then not talking at all. This pretty much speaks for itself. Just remember to work on how you treat one another. This chapter has helped me out a lot. Too many times I snap because of something he said, like You didn't tell me this. Although I knew I had....I am working on just repeating it instead of snapping at him.

The dare for today was to meet a need that our spouse had today. I found that my hubby needed to hear how much I appreciated what he does for us everyday. Also like yesterday, I greet him with a smile at the door when he comes home.

Day-12 Love lets the other win

Philippians 2:4 "Do not merely look out for your own personal interests but also for the interests of others."

We had a lot of fun with this chapter because we rarely argue. While we were reading this I kept saying, "I already do that". If we do have a disagreement we do not yell at one another. I get real quiet and he...ready for this....cleans the house. How can I loose??? LOL! All joking aside, I do not like it when we disagree on anything. I know many couples who fight, not just argue, all the time. Some even let it go on for days without speaking to each other. I can not and will not let us get to that point. We give it a cooling off point and then come back to it before bed. Do we always see eye to eye? Not at all. But we learn from each other during those disagreements.

The dare today was to choose an area to give into. Tell them you are putting their preference first. I'm not sure of this yet, but I know there will come a time for me to give in. So I'm placing it in the "bank" for now.

This has been more of a personal journal for me during our Love Dare. But if you are reading this please leave me a comment and let me know. Also my Husband over at The Guys Side is also keeping the journal on Fridays. He posts them on Friday night or Saturday so go on over and read them and leave him a comment.

1 comment:

Renee said...

Thanks for sharing this! It sounds like a wonderful study for couples.