Well after today our quarantine is officially over. It has been a very long 10 days. I would love to sit here and tell you I had a great amount of spiritual growth. Sadly, this is not the case. For the first few days I was grouchy, tired and just plain miserable. The enemy wasted no time getting to me after only a few hours. The Bible clearly tells us that Satan will seek us out, especially when we take our eyes off of Jesus. I was thinking more about MY inconvenience in this quarantine and not what God wanted to show me. I had become SO focused on my inconveniences. Looking back I am so thankful for this time. One way we can know we are walking in the will of our Heavenly Father, is the amount of fiery trials thrown our way. When we are walking with the Lord we become a major threat to the enemy. Over the past 15 years I thought I had grown a lot. This quarantine has shown me exactly how much I have to go. Which is a good thing. We should never stop learning about our Lord. It wasn't until we were "locked down" that I really started to see what bondage remained in my heart. I may not have realized it but the enemy did. There are so many things in my past I still struggle with. When we get completely quiet these things tend to resurface. Strange thing about traumatic events in our past is that we tend to add to or take away from the event. Not necessarily on purpose, or to add to the event. Satan came very close to winning this battle within me. I will share more on the past events at a latter date. These events happened while I was working as an EMT. I am not without scars of these events. God has used them to remind me of where I have been and where I never want to return.
I think this is why I love spring. No matter how bad the winter was the flowers, trees and plants return. Usually after a very difficult winter the flowers seem to bloom brighter and stronger. I feel that is the same with my Christian walk. The enemy may knock me down time and time again, but I will continue to get back up and walk the path that God has for me.
Psalm 92:7 "When the wicked spring up like grass, And when all the workers of iniquity flourish, It is that they may be destroyed forever."
When we bloom where we are planted we will shine the light of Jesus right where we are. I started asking the Lord to show me daily what He would like me to learn during this time. Although, I was able to continue working from home I had no commute time (which is usually 40 mins one way daily).
Psalm 25:4-7
"Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all the day. Remember, O Lord, Your tender mercies and Your lovingkindnesses, For they are from of old. Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions; According to Your mercy remember me, For Your goodness’ sake, O Lord."
The above verse has become a daily verse for me. I read or say this to myself before I even let my feet hit the floor. I am so thankful for the time the Lord has given my family and I to just close our doors and re-connect as a family. Yes we had our moments of being tired of each other. But overall I think we grew closer during this time. I have a greater appreciation for my family. Seeing my husband so sick really made me fearful. I turned him over into God's hands. I have always been a "fixer" by nature. It was so hard to watch him become out of breath with just the smallest of tasks like walking to the bathroom. I am happy to say yesterday he seemed to finally turn the corner. I just pray now that there is no lasting damage done to his lungs.
The above video is of a song I heard last week. The Lore Family "Keep Praying". Even when it seems so dark, keep praying to Him. He hears our prayers. Even in our waiting times.
Until next time. Keep your focus on Him. He will be right beside you walking your through every moment, every trial and temptation life throws your way. I will never have it ALL together. But when I keep my eyes fixed upon Jesus I know I will be ok.
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