Thursday, October 2, 2008

Difficult Times

As many of you know we homeschool our children who are ages 14, 11, 8 (will be 9 on the 12th of this month). Our oldest who is 14 has been VERY difficult lately, well not lately but recently. She refuses to do any of her school work. It really started mid way through last year 2007-2008 school year. She barely passed last year. Yes we have taken away all privileges, TV, radio, computer, and now her Ipod. I am at my whits end with her. It is getting in the way of the other children in learning. I try and not get angry with her...she thrives on confrontation it seems...but today I lost it with her. She didn't do anything (school wise anyway) but sit in her room all morning. I am at the point where I just want to send her back to school. She tells me she does not want to go to school but still refuses to do any of her work. She has a lot of learning disabilities and struggles with her studies. She was doing very well for a few weeks when we began this past August, but has just declined greatly! We have tried the sit down and lay it on the table method, my Husband has talked with her one on one, I was going to ask my Mom to talk with her, they relate very well to each other, but my sister is in the hospital...another family issue...I can not ask her. I am seeking advise from any of you seasoned homeschoolers out there. Or those of you who were homeschooled through high school that might have some advise for us. We have been praying over this issue for some time. We do not want to send her back to public school but I am feeling as if we have no other choice if she refuses to do the work. Especially since the school district we live in is so concerned with sports instead of academics they let kids slide through school, my husband and I know first hand...we went there also.

We are going to try one last time to reason with her....we are taking a family vacation in 2 years where we are driving across the USA to Phoenix Arizona for my Husband's graduation from college. If she were in public school she would have to stay back with grandparents so she could go to school. He will be graduating in the spring when a lot of testing will be going on. So as you can see we have been talking about this for some time. If you do not have any advise for us could you please remember us in your prayers over this situation that I know God will work out for us and the decision we make, we will be at peace with.


Jennifer said...

I went through the same stage when I homeschooled in high school. I think it's just the age and going through the independent stage. At least that what it was with me, just wanting to be independent and do what i wanted. Hope everything works out for you, I will be praying:)

Jennifer said...

Also..has she got many friends, I didn't have many friends when I homeschooled and it bothered me a lot. Hope everything works out:)

Marnie said...

Jennifer, I can totally understand what you are going through. It seemed that my oldest son and I would argue almost every day during his high school career. It made both of us feel like failures. My husband encouraged me to just find his strengths and focus on that. Not every kid needs to go to college, so say Chemistry may not be that important. One book that helped was:Senior High: A Home-Designed Form+U+La by Barbara Edtl Shelton.
Also,if she has learning issues, some of her work may be too difficult. You may need to take alot of time just sitting with her and helping her through it without other distractions. My son and I would get up at 5:00am and get his work done before anyone else woke up. He seemed to do well this way.
I am happy to report that they do grow up well. My son is in another state helping a church get off the ground while starting his own handyman buisness, at age 19. He called me the other day and apologized for being so difficult during school. Sure made my heart melt.

NanaNor's said...

Hi there, I just wanted to encourage you in this season. I homeschooled my two daughters from jr.high to highschool. One of them had learning disabilities and I found that if you can figure out what her passion is-be it animals, sewing, cooking, reading etc. and then focus on that passion with everything centered around that it may help motivate her. She is probably so overwhelmed(not from being home)but from struggling with her learning style, if she knows it. I would take a break from book work and teach living lessions-cooking,cleaning, go on field trips etc. Don't worry whether she is where you want her to be, just instill a love for learning-however she learns. If you are able caring for animals is a great way to teach...just some thoughts that might help. Keep on with it, the Lord will give you wisdom. PS, now my daughter homeschools...there is hope.

Stacey said...

I feel like I'm butting in here because it's my very first time to click on your blog. I have been a public school teacher of students with learning disabilities and I have a son with reading disabilities. I just have to ask if you have a real understanding of learning disabilities? Have you learned lots of ways to teach her that are different from regular learners? As I said, I don't know you and I'm not assuming you haven't already done these things. If you need help finding info I have lots of good resources.
Write me at

Otherwise, I'm thinking of you and so admiring your personal dedication to your kids!

Sarah C. said...

Hello! I remember 14 being a difficult age, as I was home schooled through high school. Nananor already said what came to mind when I read your post. This lady may have some wisdom from her years of experience and many kiddos that might encourage.